Everything has changed

I cant help but get the feeling like everything and everyone has changed. The people that were close to me have no distanced themselfs from me, or maybe I have distanced myself from them? But then again, I make an attempt to reach and pull but everything and everyone keeps pulling and pushing away.

Other than Derred, I am the only one that still rides. The friends that I have made through riding have put that part of their life to rest. I honestly feel abandoned by this, riding means alot to me and it once did for them to.  I compared their determination in riding to their determination to keep hold of our friend ship, and as it is starting to seem, the friendship is dying with the passion.

Aside from that, I feel like I am just in gerneral, being left out. I know I have been out of the country for the past week, but still. I come back and I see how everyone is and it feels like they dont even care. The people I care about are going down their paths and the way they are taking it seems like our paths will never meet again. I've been holding in these thoughts and worries for a long time, for I've been told that I've been a huge downer. But maybe if I had concerned my closest friend about this, they would have tried hard to keep things gold.